Mike's Testimony

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Until the age of 26 years I was an evangelistic atheist and wanted nothing to do with God; I believed He did not exist.

 

However, I became friendly with a Christian couple in whom I found acceptance and a sense of belonging. For a year I questioned and often argued with them about their faith, until one night in October 1996 they had had enough. They asked why I was so angry with God, what I held against him.

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I told them how, as a 7 year old child we had experienced a house fire, during which my brothers, Tony, 11 years old and David, 3 years old, had been killed. Tony survived for five days with 3rd degree burns over 90% of his body. I thought that if a loving god could allow that to happen then he wasn’t much of a god and so became an atheist.

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Soon after, my parents divorced and I ended up living with my dad and step mum. Things were hard, I can’t remember many days where I wasn’t beaten for something, or often nothing. Periodically I would suffer with depression, feelings of guilt and anger. I would become suicidal. 

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I drank heavily, got into fights and slept around, eventually getting into trouble with the police; that calmed me down a lot.

 

At the age of 24 years I had a serious breakdown and lost my job. I was finally diagnosed as suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

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I found a new job and was sent to Japan for 3 months for training. Whilst there my partner became a Christian. I arrived home to a different person and I didn’t react very well. Every time she went to church I would start a fight, but unknown to me, five churches were praying for me.

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I met some of her newfound friends; one couple were really nice. For 6 months I visited them, questioning them about their faith and often arguing with them - they had the patience of a saint with me.

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One night Keith, the husband, asked what I held against God and for 5 hours I poured out my heart, re-telling all I’d experienced. Until that night, no-one had ever been concerned for me, yet here, he cried as I told my story.

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As I ended my story, he asked if he could pray for me. I agreed and he asked the Lord to give me peace.

 

To my shock that prayer was answered, and I was filled with a deep sense of peace, something I had never felt before.

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For the first time I knew that there must be someone there who is able to answer prayers, I could no longer be an atheist and that night I became a follower of Christ.

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Oh how I’d love to tell you things turned out well, but I can’t. My partner left, I met someone else and we got married and several years later we got divorced. 

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Jesus never said that He would make life a bed of roses. He did promise that He would never leave us or forsake us. Over the years since I accepted Him as my Lord that has proved the case time and again.

 

I have never been on my own, no matter what life has thrown at me.

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